Narcissism comes with many unfortunate personality traits, often making narcissists prone to jealousy.
Have you ever wondered if the narcissist in your social circle is jealous of you?
At some point, you have probably had a jealous narcissistic person in your life. Narcissists will cultivate relationships with people with all the qualities they desire. For example, if a narcissist is insecure about their lack of financial resources, they may surround themselves with people with the financial situation they desire.
Eventually, the narcissist begins to feel frustrated that another person has all these things and they do not. This can turn into hostility and bitterness. They begin to feel inadequate and need to diminish the object of their jealousy. In this article, we will explore the links between narcissism and jealousy.
7 Signs A Narcissist Is Jealous Of You
Jealousy can be a hard emotion to navigate. It’s even harder for narcissistic people with low self-esteem. There are many different signs that a narcissist is jealous of you. Recognizing these seven signs will help you best respond to the situation. A narcissist may display jealousy in different ways.
Narcissistic jealousy can manifest in various ways. Unfortunately, they are all meant to harm the victim while making the narcissist feel better about themselves. They will attempt to verbally, mentally, and sometimes even physically abuse their victims.
Let’s dig a little deeper into the seven signs of jealousy displayed by a narcissist…
Narcissists often diminish or criticize your successes to make themselves feel better. They have such a low sense of self that they cannot stand to see anybody being successful in areas they are not. They feel a deep sense of shame if somebody surpasses them in a certain area.
A narcissist will often try to hide their jealousy. One method they may use to hide this is by giving insincere compliments. They will act supportive if something good happens to you but they won’t mean it. They may be passive-aggressive and praise you to your face while doing the opposite behind your back.
When a narcissist suddenly cuts you off or ignores you, they may be jealous. When a person is jealous, they will try to distance themselves and the source of their jealousy. Your presence makes them uncomfortable, so they avoid being around you.
Narcissistic people may try to sabotage you if they feel jealous. They cannot stand to see you successful so in an attempt to bring you down to their level they may try to make life very difficult for you.
They say comparison is the thief of joy. Well, it’s also a sign fo narcissistic jealousy. In a narcissistic mind. Their self-worth is relative to yours. There is a constant sense of competition between the two of you. Essentially their success only matters in relativity to yours. They will always try to outdo you.
If someone is jealous of your accomplishments, they will often try to steal away any positive attention you receive. If you are getting praised for something, they may start to boast about similar successes to steal some of your thunder.
To deal with someone narcissistic, you must know how they affect your life. These seven signs of a jealous narcissist will help you identify what they are doing to you. All these behaviors are the result of the underlying causes of narcissism.
What makes a narcissist jealous?
It’s simple entitlement. Narcissists have such an inflated sense of entitlement that they believe they deserve everything that anybody else acquires. They essentially think that the world revolves around them. This leads them to believe that the world and everybody living in it owes them something.
Narcissism and entitlement are entangled, impacting narcissists’ behaviours and relationships with others. Entitlement is the belief that one is so special that they deserve anything and everything without doing the necessary work.
When they see others’ accomplishments or enviable characteristics, they fail to recognize or appreciate the amount of effort that went into their achievements. They believe that they should be given all the same things.
This sense of entitlement, combined with other narcissistic traits such as low self-worth, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence, leads a narcissist to become jealous of the person they are fixated on, leading to all the unfortunate behaviors listed in the section above.
How to deal with a jealous narcissist?
The best way to Deal with a jealous narcissist is to get educated on the subject, build self-esteem, and learn to stand up for yourself. Since dealing with a narcissist is complicated, having a clear strategy for dealing with the narcissist will help you manage the situation.
Although every situation with a jealous narcissist is unique, there are things you can do to prepare yourself better to handle the problem.
These tips will help you understand the problem, make you more assertive, and provide support.
- Educate yourself about Narcissistic Personality Disorder
You should familiarize yourself with the characteristics that result from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You can do this by talking to a mental health professional and reading books. This will help you deal with any challenges that may arise.
- Build your self-esteem
This makes sense. The better you feel about yourself, the better you can handle the harmful behaviors of maintaining a relationship with a narcissist. Using positive self-talk, self-care, and finding a support system can help build your self-esteem.
- Speak up for yourself
Sometimes it’s better to ignore or walk away from a narcissist who is bothering you. It depends on the relationship. Sometimes you don’t want to walk away. If the person with NPD is someone you want to maintain a relationship with, you need to learn how to speak up for yourself.
You must gently and calmly tell them how their jealous behaviors affect your life. You need to be specific and consistent about how they should treat you. You also need to prepare yourself for the possibility that they will have trouble understanding this and empathizing with your feelings.
- Set clear boundaries
Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will often cross any boundaries you set for the relationship. However, you need to stay firm and enforce your boundaries. You need to communicate clearly and concisely which behaviors are unacceptable and what will happen if the boundaries are not respected.
- Find a support system
If avoiding the person is not possible. You want to build a healthy support system to get you through the difficult times. Spending time with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is very emotionally draining. You should find balance and fill your life up with healthy relationships.
These different tools will be very helpful when dealing with the jealous narcissist in your life. You want to be assertive but calm. You want to stand up for your feelings and needs while remaining clear and calm. Being overly confrontational will help nobody and only cause more problems.
Why do narcissists want to steal your attention?
A narcissist will try to steal positive attention from you if they are jealous. If your accomplishments and achievements make them feel bad about themselves, they may attempt to steal your spotlight. They need praise to falsely boost their sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence.
Their sense of entitlement will also cause them to act out. If they are entitled to everything, why are you getting praise when they aren’t? This doesn’t make sense to a narcissist, making them uncomfortable.
Setting proper boundaries is essential if you don’t want the narcissist always to hurt the important moments in your life.
How to set boundaries with a jealous narcissist?
You must assert clear boundaries if you cannot avoid and ignore the narcissist in your life. This will help you maintain a relationship with this person while respecting your needs. Setting boundaries will help you avoid manipulation, get your point across, and weigh your options.
Personal Boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. The ability to say “no” to others when necessary allows someone with healthy boundaries to be at ease with intimacy and close relationships.
It may be time to walk away if you set your boundaries and feel they are constantly overstepped.
Don’t be manipulated
Narcissists often use manipulation to get others to do what they want. You cannot let them manipulate you into doing what they need. Your feelings and needs will end up not being a priority. This will likely lead to a lot of problems in the relationship.
Don’t show them how their behavior affects you
Don’t react to what a narcissist does. You must not let them know that their behavior will get a reaction out of you. This is what they want. Always stay in control of your emotions. If you show them their behaviours affect you, they will continue to act this way.
Name their behavior
Labelling a narcissist’s behavior will help ensure they understand where you are coming from. They can’t alter their behavior if they don’t know what they’re doing. So you should tell them exactly what they are doing and how this behavior negatively affects you.
Don’t share personal matters
Be careful what information you choose to share with this person. They may use it to take advantage of you at some point in the future. It just gives them more information to use against you. Be careful with oversharing; there are certain things you should keep to yourself.
Know that you have choices
Always remember that you have options. If this person is causing too much trouble, you can walk away. Don’t endure unnecessary pain by thinking you have no choices. There will always be things you can do to improve the situation.
When setting boundaries with a narcissist, you should expect some pushback. They will often argue and blame you for their behaviors. They need to feel like they are the victim. Just make sure you realize that your boundaries and needs are a priority. If setting boundaries fails, you may need to walk away.
When to walk away from a jealous narcissist?
If you feel burned out by the constant arguing, that doesn’t work. If you’re tired of constantly feeling disrespected by the narcissist in your life. It may be time to walk away. You may have to walk away for a short time to regroup and devise a plan to manage the relationship.
You may also feel that nothing is working and the only option is to walk away for good. Just be prepared for how the narcissist will react. They will often do anything they can to cause drama for you. Narcissists will often change their tactics if they find that you are ignoring them. They want to keep you on edge constantly and are very unpredictable.
If you want the narcissist to be out of your life, you must walk away indefinitely and have as little contact with the person as possible. If you do this consistently, they will eventually move on and find a new person to take the brunt of their abuse.
Narcissists are everywhere; there is a high chance that we have all been the victim of a narcissist’s jealousy at one point in our lives. It can be difficult, exhausting, and emotionally draining when someone constantly puts you down and disrespects your needs.
However, you can do many things to make the relationship tolerable and minimize their jealousy’s damaging effects on your life. The techniques in this article will help you manage your relationship with a narcissist while prioritizing your mental health and feelings.
In the end, if nothing works, you can always walk away. You need to listen to your gut and do what is best for yourself. Even though it may be very difficult, you may also want to visit a therapist to help you cope with a narcissistic person.
A resilient writer who has emerged from addiction, depression, and anxiety with a renewed sense of purpose and a powerful voice. His journey has shaped his writing, allowing him to explore the complexities of the human condition intimately. Also blogging about mental health at www.medium.com/@Patrickmeowler