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Do Narcissists Enjoy Making You Angry?

Narcissists will deliberately do things that make others start to fill up with rage.

They will pick on, criticize, and manipulate, causing destruction and chaos in the lives of their victims. This can make the lives of the victims very traumatic, causing emotional, mental, and physical health problems.

We now know from previous articles that narcissists lack empathy, which allows them to mistreat others without any feelings of remote or guilt. But could it be more than that? Could narcissists derive a sense of pleasure and enjoyment from making you angry?

In this article, we will explore whether or not narcissists enjoy making others angry. We will delve into why narcissists love drama and chaos, constantly finding ways to upset their victims. 

Do Narcissists Enjoy Making You Angry?

Yes, because it proves they have power and control over their victims. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder strongly desire to feel better than those around them. By annoying and angering their victims, they support their belief that they are superior.

To enrage their victims, narcissists will often cross boundaries, manipulate, and provoke to get emotional reactions. Narcissists thrive on control; they love playing with their victims like puppets, making them act in ways that benefit the narcissist. They get satisfaction out of watching people bend to their will.

Narcissists also make their victims angry as a defense tactic, using distraction to avoid being held accountable for something they have done or diverting attention away from their flaws. This helps the narcissist keep manipulating and controlling with facing the consequences of their actions.

Another reason narcissists enjoy making people angry is because it helps them maintain control. By making their victims angry through manipulation or criticism, they make their targets feel inadequate, desperate, and emotional. This makes it a lot easier for the narcissist to control their victims.

Find yourself in any relationship with a narcissist that negatively affects your mental, emotional, or physical health. It may be time to ensure your well-being and safety. Limiting interactions, setting boundaries, and remaining calm can positively affect your relationship and life. Please check out my article on narcissists and revenge to learn more about protecting yourself from a narcissist.

Why Do Narcissists Try To Upset You?

Narcissists upset you to make themselves feel better in various ways. Essentially, they upset their victims for various reasons, but all lead to the same thing. They use others to make themselves feel better due to their insecurities, fragile ego, and low self-worth.

Narcissists will try to upset you daily, they will constantly mess with you, trying to tip the balance in the relationship, so they have all the power, and you are left feeling neutralized and unable to do anything about it.

Narcissists will frequently upset their victims for these main reasons:

Destroy boundaries

Narcissists often try to upset you when you set boundaries to make you associate boundary-setting with emotional pain. Boundaries challenge their inflated sense of self-importance, undermine their pursuit of power, control, validation, admiration, and reassurance, and contradict their belief in their uniqueness.

Boundaries pose a significant threat to narcissists because their emotional stability relies heavily on accumulating validation, admiration, and reassurance, commonly known as narcissistic supply. By provoking you, they manipulate you and prevent you from asserting boundaries.

To feel superior

Narcissists deliberately upset others to reinforce their superiority and regulate their suppressed negative emotions. They devalue, invalidate, degrade, or humiliate others to showcase their superiority and maintain control.

Their fragile sense of self depends on external validation, admiration, and reassurance to prevent their negative emotions from overwhelming them. However, when their sense of self is challenged, their suppressed negative emotions escape and disrupt their emotional stability.

To make you seem like the antagonist

When a narcissist deliberately upsets you to provoke anger, they aim to manipulate the situation and portray themselves as victims. They push you to elicit a reaction that they can use to justify their abusive behavior.

For instance, if they invalidate, devalue, humiliate, or degrade you until you finally snap and raise your voice, they will twist your response to accuse you of having an anger problem while claiming they are being unfairly labelled as abusive and narcissistic.

To get a narcissistic supply

Narcissists also aim to upset you to manipulate and obtain a narcissistic supply. Setting boundaries or asking them to do something they don’t like contradicts their false self-image and triggers their negative emotions.

In response, they often try to make you upset, using tactics like bullying, gaslighting, or giving silent treatment. Their goal is to make you feel guilty or responsible, so you end up apologizing and comforting them, even if you’ve done nothing wrong.

To summarize, everything that a narcissist does often comes with ulterior motives. They will pick on and upset you to prevent you from setting boundaries, make themselves feel superior, project themselves as victims, and acquire more supply. Knowing this lets you know what to look for and better prepare yourself to deal with the narcissist.

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Why Do Narcissists Love Drama & Chaos?

Because it makes their victims more focused on the narcissist and keeps their victims interested. Individuals with NPD fear that they cannot keep others interested by simply being themselves, so they consistently manufacture drama and chaos to keep people interested.

At Psych Central, the author says that manufactured chaos allows narcissists to keep you on the hamster wheel of trying to figure out what is happening and questioning yourself. Narcissists want their victims always to question themselves, wondering what they did wrong instead of questioning the motives of the narcissist. They often try to convince their victims that setting boundaries or expressing discomfort is the real problem, not the behaviors of the narcissist.

Narcissists behave in the following ways to create drama and chaos:

  • Instigating arguments to make you feel crazy

Narcissists will purposely provoke their victims and use blame-shifting to make them feel crazy. They create revolving arguments that never end, gaslight, and act like the victim to keep their victims confused and guessing. These constant arguments wear down the victim, reinforcing the narcissist’s sense of superiority and control.

  • Ruining special occasions

Narcissists secretly hate anything that diverts attention away from them. On special occasions or significant moments in their victim’s lives, they may engage in negative behaviors to ruin the celebrations and take attention away from the victims. It’s best to avoid spending these times with them and instead find support from caring friends and family. Spending the holiday alone is better than being bullied by a narcissist.

  • Provoking Jealousy

Narcissists often attempt to create chaos in their victims’ lives by provoking jealousy. They occasionally use triangulation to create love triangles, making others compete for affection. They drop hints about finding others attractive, having affairs, or getting attention from others to provoke reactions and make people vie for their affection.

  • Sleep deprivation

Narcissists will purposely deprive their victims of sleep to keep them mentally and physically exhausted. They may engage in prolonged arguments, provoke you at bedtime, or inflict cruelty to disrupt your sleep and keep your mind in chaos.

Lack of sleep hampers the immune system’s regenerative functions, negatively affecting mental and physical well-being. If you’re already dealing with illness or trauma, the impact of sleep deprivation is even more severe. Being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist can jeopardize your healing process and put your life at risk.

  • The silent treatment and stonewalling

Stonewalling is when someone shuts down a conversation, refuses to address your concerns, and gives you silent treatment. It can be hurtful and leave you feeling anxious and doubtful. Narcissists use stonewalling to control and manipulate their victims. When faced with stonewalling, focus on self-care and recognize that you deserve better treatment.

As you can see, having a narcissist in your life can have many unforeseen consequences that negatively affect you. By understanding the behaviors of a narcissist, you can decipher what they are doing and know that you aren’t crazy; it is just what a narcissist does to their victims. This can empower you to get help and take care of yourself.

What Happens When You Anger A Narcissist?

They may enter into a narcissistic rage. An episode of narcissistic rage results from the narcissist feeling like their self-worth is being challenged, and it is characterized by a display of intense anger. This anger is often completely reactive and out of the narcissist’s control, making it especially dangerous.

This intense anger is often disproportionate to the situation at hand. It can manifest in active or passive ways, with outward or inward signs. Narcissistic Rage may manifest as obnoxious displays of anger or, more subtly, as giving the silent treatment.

By understanding the narcissistic rage cycle, you can understand all the negative emotions behind the narcissist’s anger. This cycle of anger causes a lot of dysfunction in narcissists’ relationships and causes even more problems for their victims. When dealing with an angry narcissist, sometimes the only option you have is to walk away. You should not stick around and jeopardize your well-being and safety.

    If you feel like you cannot handle the situation alone, you can seek help from mental health professionals, lawyers, the appropriate authorities, or support groups. Remember, you are not alone; help is out there.

    do-narcissists-enjoy-making-you-angry? |


    In conclusion, narcissists derive pleasure and enjoyment from making others angry due to various underlying factors in their personality and psychological makeup. Their inclination towards drama, chaos, and manipulation serves their need for power, control, and validation.

    Narcissists intentionally provoke and upset their victims to assert their superiority and dominance. They enjoy seeing their victims react emotionally and bend to their will. They maintain control and feed their inflated ego by inciting anger and emotional turmoil.

    The tactics used by narcissists to make others angry are diverse. They may use gaslighting, devaluation, criticism, or manipulation to evoke strong emotional reactions. They may create love triangles, instigate arguments, ruin special occasions, provoke jealousy, or even deprive their victims of sleep. These strategies are carefully crafted to undermine the well-being of their victims and maintain their power dynamic.

    It is crucial to understand that narcissists lack empathy and have a limited capacity for genuine emotional connection. They are driven by self-interest and willing to use any means necessary to maintain control and feed their ego. The pleasure they derive from making others angry is rooted in their need for validation and the reinforcement of their perceived superiority.

    Recognizing the manipulative tactics of narcissists and understanding their underlying motivations is the first step in dealing with them. Setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support from trusted individuals can help protect yourself from their harmful influence. It is essential to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and no one should have the power to manipulate and control your emotions for their gratification.

    By educating yourself about narcissistic behavior and developing strategies to protect your well-being, you can navigate relationships with narcissists more effectively. Remember, you have the power to break free from their manipulative cycles and create a healthier and happier life for yourself.

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