Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are known for using others to get what they want. They treat people as a resource to be used.
If you have ever been close to someone with narcissism, you may have noticed a degree of objectification in the relationship. We all know the feeling of being used; it makes us feel unwanted and as if our feelings are irrelevant. We are all equal human beings with needs that matter.
Relationships with a narcissist are often plagued with issues. Often, a lot of controlling, manipulation, and domination are involved, causing serious damage to the victim’s mental, emotional, and sometimes physical health. These relationships tend to come with much suffering because of the narcissist’s inherently selfish personality traits.
In this article, we will discuss why people with NPD are inclined to treat people like objects. Let’s dive in…
Why Do Narcissists Treat People Like Objects?
They do this because they see people as a way to get what they want. Narcissists have an underlying psychological makeup that makes them see people through the lens of what they can get from them. They have great difficulty creating meaningful connections and being intimate with other people.
Relationships with a narcissistic individual are transactional. This helps the narcissist objectify people because people are a source of narcissistic supply, such as attention, validation, control, and praise.
Here are the reasons that a narcissist treats people like objects:
- They don’t recognize the emotions of others
They have a limited capacity to recognize and relate to the emotions and needs of other people, leading them to treat people as objects to fulfill their desires, disregarding the impact on others. They don’t consider the feelings of others at all when they are seeking a narcissistic supply.
- They think they are better than everyone else
Narcissists possess an exaggerated sense of self-importance, considering themselves superior to others. This mindset of superiority can lead to entitlement, causing them to view others as mere tools or accessories to boost their self-image and fulfill their needs.
- They exploit others for personal gain.
They exploit people’s emotions, vulnerabilities, and desires to gain power, and treating individuals as objects facilitates their ability to manipulate and exert control over them.
- No respect for others
Narcissists often ignore the personal boundaries of others, perceiving them as mere extensions of themselves rather than independent individuals with autonomy and rights. This viewpoint enables them to trespass on others’ boundaries, dismiss their emotions, and exploit their resources solely for their advantage.
- People are just a source of supply
Narcissists possess a strong craving for attention and validation from others. They perceive people as potential sources of admiration, praise, and attention. Suppose someone fails to meet their expectations in this regard. In that case, they may devalue and discard them, continuously seeking out individuals who can fulfill their desire for admiration.
In summary, narcissists treat people like objects because they lack empathy, have an inflated self-image, manipulate and control others, disregard personal boundaries, and crave constant admiration and validation. These factors lead them to view people as tools for their needs rather than individuals with feelings and rights. This transactional approach to relationships prevents them from forming meaningful connections.
Does A Narcissist Consider The Feelings Of Others?
Yes and no, narcissism exists on a spectrum. On the lower end of the narcissism spectrum, there is a possibility that individuals may care about hurting someone else’s feelings. However, narcissistic personality disorder suggests that the afflicted person is much less likely to care about the feelings of others.
There is a possibility that small amounts of empathy can be felt by people meeting the DSM-5 diagnosis criteria for NPD. Also, experts believe empathy can be constructed in some ways with proper therapy and a lot of work.
Unfortunately for the victims of narcissists, their feelings will most likely not be considered in any meaningful way when it comes to the decisions of an individual with NPD. The desires and feelings of a narcissist will always be prioritized over the needs and desires of others.
Here are some ways narcissists show they don’t care about your feelings:
They Lie To You
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder are infamous liars. They’ll lie to you about their achievements and skills, making them look like flawless human beings you should idolize and praise. They will also lie about their behaviors to avoid criticism and get away with things. There is nothing the narcissist won’t lie about if it will help them get what they want.
They Control And Manipulate You
Narcissists have various manipulative tactics to mess with you and keep you on your toes. They are experts at influencing others to do their bidding by using deceptive techniques, so they don’t have to do their own dirty work.
They Abuse You
Narcissists will often abuse the people in their lives emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Verbal and psychological abuse, like constant criticism and controlling behavior, are common. They initially exploit people for personal gain, charm them, then reveal abusive traits over time.
Through intermittent rewards and punishments, they keep victims dependent. Gaslighting is used to distort the truth and make victims question their sanity. They may isolate victims and control their finances. Seeking professional help is important if you or someone you know is experiencing abuse.
They Discard You
Narcissists discard people when they no longer serve their needs or when they find someone new to admire them. They start by devaluing the person, making them feel small and unimportant. Then they focus on someone else, ignoring and neglecting their current victim. They gradually withdraw affection and suddenly end the relationship without explanation, leaving the victim devastated and questioning their self-worth. It’s important to seek support if you’ve experienced this treatment.
Individuals with NPD consistently show in their relationships that they do not care about the feelings of others. They will manipulate, control, dominate, abuse, and discard the people in their lives whenever they feel like it, wreaking havoc and causing much damage to their victims.
Does A Narcissist Know They Are Hurting You?
Yes, someone with a narcissistic personality disorder may know they are hurting you but do not care. They treat people like objects, using people as resources to get whatever they want or desire. Their feelings override any feelings they have about hurting others.
Narcissists may have some understanding that their actions are causing harm to others. Still, their self-centeredness and lack of empathy often override any genuine concern for the well-being of others. They lack the emotional capacity to care for others deeply.
They may rationalize or justify their hurtful behavior, manipulate the situation to avoid taking responsibility, or even derive satisfaction from exerting control and causing distress. However, the level of self-awareness varies among narcissists, and some may genuinely believe their actions are acceptable or fail to fully grasp the extent of the damage they inflict.
If you are struggling because the narcissistic person in your life is hurting you emotionally, physically, mentally, or financially you should seek professional help. A lawyer can help with any financial or family issues that may have arisen, while a licensed therapist can help you with any emotional abuse you may be dealing with.
Why Does A Narcissist Treat Everyone Better Than Me?
They do so because you are seeing the real narcissist. Other people see the narcissist you saw initially. This charming and love-bombing narcissist drew you in and made you think they were sweet and kind as they slowly let out their abusive and narcissistic behaviors.
Narcissists are skilled at managing the impression they give to others, especially when they need a self-esteem boost. They excel at self-promotion, presenting themselves in a positive light to alter how others perceive them. They come across as caring, intelligent, and friendly to appear to attract people into their lives.
For a narcissist, every social interaction is an opportunity to find people who can provide them with something they need. It can be disappointing when you’re not part of that group. But remember, it’s not about you. The issue lies with the narcissist’s need to use others to feel better about themselves. Trust your perception of who they are, and don’t worry about how others see them.
In conclusion, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder view people as objects to fulfill their needs and boost their self-esteem. They lack empathy and manipulate others through impression management and control. Narcissists prioritize their desires over the feelings and boundaries of others.
Narcissists treat people like objects because they lack empathy, have an inflated self-image, manipulate and control others, disregard personal boundaries, and crave constant admiration and validation. They view people as tools to fulfill their desires and do not consider the feelings and rights of others. This transactional mindset prevents them from forming meaningful connections.
Narcissists differ in their ability to care about others’ feelings, with those diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder showing less concern. They prioritize their desires and feelings over others and display a lack of empathy through lying, manipulation, control, abuse, and discarding of individuals. It is crucial for those experiencing narcissistic abuse to seek professional help.
It is important to trust your perception of a narcissist’s true nature and not be swayed by how others view them. Narcissists treat people differently based on how they can benefit from them, which can be hurtful and damaging. It is crucial to seek support and professional help when dealing with the effects of narcissistic behavior. Trust yourself and prioritize your well-being in relationships with narcissists.
A resilient writer who has emerged from addiction, depression, and anxiety with a renewed sense of purpose and a powerful voice. His journey has shaped his writing, allowing him to explore the complexities of the human condition intimately. Also blogging about mental health at www.medium.com/@Patrickmeowler